Day 14 - Wussy wuss-wuss
So, I have been on vacation for 14 days now and I have arrived in a completely new city and the next two weeks are completely booked up with hiking trips to Chubu and Mt. Fuji, ryokan (traditional Japanese inns) and onsen (hot springs) visits, a Coldplay concert on the 19th, trip to Kyoto and a visit to T's friend's parents house out in the country...and I'm sitting in T's apartment and I. Don't. Want. To. Do. Anything.
What's wrong with me? Here I am in one of the world's most cosmopolitan, dynamic, fascinating cities, and I don't want to leave the house. Am I a big loser?
I don't think so. I've come to realize over years that I really need my "me" time, where I can do whatever I want. Not just "me" time, but "alone" time too. For the past few weeks I have not been alone for a single instant. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and it was so great to re-connect with all of them after so many years and they were so generous to willingly give up their time and shuttle me around from place to place...but I didn't realize how much I enjoy being by myself until T left for work and I had the place all to myself.
Now I am on no one else's schedule. I can listen to music as loud as I want. I don't have to change out of my pyjamas. I can go back to sleep, which I did after I called Rob and chatted for a bit. I can update my blog, which sadly is sparse with info and pictures about Singapore and Malaysia. I can read, surf the web, play games, whatever.
Some people function best in the presence of other people, where they can feed off others' energies. I am like that to a point, but there comes a point where I have to shut down the social me completely and turn inwards.
I'm a little bit tired. Every day has been packed with things to do and people to see, plus I was shifting households every few days. Lots of early mornings, late nights. And the dehydration problems didn't help (I figured out that two 1-hour hikes over two days in 30+ degree weather with 100% humidity, combined with eating rich spicy meals, equals barfy-barf.) I'm tired. And it feels good to just be in one place for a while.
Also, to tell you the absolute truth (because blogging is all about THE TRUTH, you know), I'm a bit frightened. I have to admit that I am a bit of a scaredy-cat. Foreign country, foreign language, no one to show me around and take care of all the details for me. And I'm not feeling very courageous today.
Yes, yes, I hear some of you protesting, "But you went to Africa! You've travelled on your own!"
My counter-argument to that would be the following. In Uganda, VSO took such good care of us that we didn't have to concern ourselves much with details, like finding accommodation, jobs, etc. They picked us up at the airport, took us shopping for household goods, showed us how to do basic things. Even in my village I had Richard and Ellie or my local friends Mariah, Rogers and Kenneth to rely on. When I travel on my own, it has always been to places where English is the common language, or where I know someone who can take care of me. I don't have to bother with figuring out new currency, how to ask where the washrooms are, or order a meal.
To me, truly courageous and adventurous people are T and Heid, who have (sometimes more than once) picked up and moved to a completely foreign place with little or no pre-existing support structure. I know lots of other people who are way more adventurous in their travelling too, like my cousin Wendy who went trekking in Nepal with only a hired guide. No package tour, no other friends. I would never have the balls to do something like that.
Bet you didn't know I was such a wuss, eh?
So, now that I've rationalized my wussiness to myself, I'm going to chill out, write some more posts, and be afraid of Tokyo, all in the comfort of T's apartment.
PS. My new favourite word, recently re-discovered on Dave's blog, is "hangry", where you're so hungry you become angry. I think only this will make me want to leave the apartment.
PS+. On a related note, the quality of the writing (especially the travel postings) on Dave's blog is so good that it makes me angry that mine sucks so bad. Is there a word for being so jealous that it makes you mad?
What's wrong with me? Here I am in one of the world's most cosmopolitan, dynamic, fascinating cities, and I don't want to leave the house. Am I a big loser?
I don't think so. I've come to realize over years that I really need my "me" time, where I can do whatever I want. Not just "me" time, but "alone" time too. For the past few weeks I have not been alone for a single instant. Don't get me wrong, I love my family and it was so great to re-connect with all of them after so many years and they were so generous to willingly give up their time and shuttle me around from place to place...but I didn't realize how much I enjoy being by myself until T left for work and I had the place all to myself.
Now I am on no one else's schedule. I can listen to music as loud as I want. I don't have to change out of my pyjamas. I can go back to sleep, which I did after I called Rob and chatted for a bit. I can update my blog, which sadly is sparse with info and pictures about Singapore and Malaysia. I can read, surf the web, play games, whatever.
Some people function best in the presence of other people, where they can feed off others' energies. I am like that to a point, but there comes a point where I have to shut down the social me completely and turn inwards.
I'm a little bit tired. Every day has been packed with things to do and people to see, plus I was shifting households every few days. Lots of early mornings, late nights. And the dehydration problems didn't help (I figured out that two 1-hour hikes over two days in 30+ degree weather with 100% humidity, combined with eating rich spicy meals, equals barfy-barf.) I'm tired. And it feels good to just be in one place for a while.
Also, to tell you the absolute truth (because blogging is all about THE TRUTH, you know), I'm a bit frightened. I have to admit that I am a bit of a scaredy-cat. Foreign country, foreign language, no one to show me around and take care of all the details for me. And I'm not feeling very courageous today.
Yes, yes, I hear some of you protesting, "But you went to Africa! You've travelled on your own!"
My counter-argument to that would be the following. In Uganda, VSO took such good care of us that we didn't have to concern ourselves much with details, like finding accommodation, jobs, etc. They picked us up at the airport, took us shopping for household goods, showed us how to do basic things. Even in my village I had Richard and Ellie or my local friends Mariah, Rogers and Kenneth to rely on. When I travel on my own, it has always been to places where English is the common language, or where I know someone who can take care of me. I don't have to bother with figuring out new currency, how to ask where the washrooms are, or order a meal.
To me, truly courageous and adventurous people are T and Heid, who have (sometimes more than once) picked up and moved to a completely foreign place with little or no pre-existing support structure. I know lots of other people who are way more adventurous in their travelling too, like my cousin Wendy who went trekking in Nepal with only a hired guide. No package tour, no other friends. I would never have the balls to do something like that.
Bet you didn't know I was such a wuss, eh?
So, now that I've rationalized my wussiness to myself, I'm going to chill out, write some more posts, and be afraid of Tokyo, all in the comfort of T's apartment.
PS. My new favourite word, recently re-discovered on Dave's blog, is "hangry", where you're so hungry you become angry. I think only this will make me want to leave the apartment.
PS+. On a related note, the quality of the writing (especially the travel postings) on Dave's blog is so good that it makes me angry that mine sucks so bad. Is there a word for being so jealous that it makes you mad?
The word for being so jealous it makes you mad is:
ReplyDeleteJealgry.
That's all I got.
Man, I sit here and read about your travels, and then read Dave's blog, and I wonder how mine rates compared to both of yours.
I mean, seriously.
You are a dynamo. I admire you so much for being able to travel around (just like I admire my wife for doing the same thing).
Me? I just sit at home and play gamecube. That's all I do...
:)
Okay, not quite that bad...
I agree with you about alone time. It's good to be able to just be by yourself WITH yourself. If not, one tends to become cranky around other people, regardless of the positive energy around them.